i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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