Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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