Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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