My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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