I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
