I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
