so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
