he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
why is half of my head shaved?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
