im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
