Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
