so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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