I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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