I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
