i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
