She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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