Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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