Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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