tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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