I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
