Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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