no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I AM VODKA MAN
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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