epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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