This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
