Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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