I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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