The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
