my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
