One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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