Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
