I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
