I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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