If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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