I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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