no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
