Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
