if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
