I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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