you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
