so explain again why im purple
no
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
