Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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