Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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