It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
