Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
