I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
