hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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