imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
