Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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