I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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