Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
