420 ftw
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
