I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
