I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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