Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
