I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
