if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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